Top Ten Laziest People In The World

Top Ten Laziest People In The World

1. The French These infamous cheese eating surrender monkeys invented laziness. The reason the One Hundred Years War went on so long is because they went on vacation before taking care of the paper work. How lazy are French people really? They’re still reserving judgment on this whole Revolution thing. The French have manipulated world history in order to ensure their laziness. Faced with a stagnant economy, a runaway bureaucracy, and massive minority unrest, the intrepid Frenchman takes a month long vacation. The French rule at laziness because they seriously could not give a fuck. Laziness: 10. How they accomplish their laziness: They did it old school. They staged a blood thirsty revolution 200 years ago that almost went completely out of control. When their union boss walks into the plant manager’s office, the boss man is all ears. That revolution was the last time any Frenchman ever gave a shit about anything. Hot Women: 7.
2. The Russians Those old Soviet-era propaganda films that showed healthy young men and women tossing boulders out of their wheat fields? That was the only legitimate effort anyone has gotten out of the Russian people since Ivan the Terrible. Even facing machine guns and imprisonment at one of Papa Joe’s gulags, these hard-bitten slackers fucked up every Five Year Plan Stalin ever had. These people are the master half-assers of all time. Oh they’re a bundle of happy comrades, singing state authored work songs and tossing bales of hay the size of state parks around as long as the guards are watching, but as soon as the eyes of the KGB and GRU are gone, they’re doing some serious dicking around. They’re still going to do something about that Chernobyl thing one day now. Laziness: 8. How they achieved their laziness: By fulfilling every rule and regulation concerning their job without actually doing anything. Hot Women: 8.
3. The English “If you can’t blind them with your brilliance, bury them with your bullshit.” William Shakespeare said that 900 years ago and it’s just as true today. This nation of Poindexters has figured out how to seem brilliant while not knowing a goddamn thing about what they’re talking about. No Englishman has ever read a book all the way through. This is a race of scanners and hi-liters of the most noble of stature. With their affected accents and their smug superiority, they are easy to hate, but a whole lot harder to fire evidently. They have this special relationship with the boss and getting rid of them is impossible. A bright scepter’d isle of barnacles is what they are.
4. The Greeks Still getting ready for the 2004 Olympics.
5. The Italians The Coliseum ought to be finished any day now.
6. The Egyptians We didn’t lose the Seven Day War, we just forgot to show up.
7. The Jews We’ll rebuild that Temple Lord, right after we get back from Lowe’s.
8. Easter Islanders As soon as a white man showed up with some work for them to do, these punks bailed. So busy playing with their statues they couldn’t even be bothered to raise food or reproduce. I’d say more about them, but these guys are the ultimate cube phantoms. We know they work here, but nobody remembers ever seeing them.
9. The Irish Too lazy to speak their own language properly. Oh, they had a lot of potential at first. They showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed every day, busy preserving western culture after the Fall of Rome. But they’ve been phoning it in for two thousand years now. There is a suspicion of substance abuse, and there always seem to be troubles at home.
10. Antarctica These lazy bastards produce nothing, and we’re always bailing their asses out, and I for one am sick about it. These damn Antarcticans are useless.